Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
