...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
