I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
