I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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