The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just invented taco cereal.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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