hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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