the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
