I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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