did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
