I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
