its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
