Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
