Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
