Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i think i have two assholes
worst night to have a conscience
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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