So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
