singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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