He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
