So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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