Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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