I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
