What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
