We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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