just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
