I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
