I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
