me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
