hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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