It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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