even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
