are you still at the devil's house?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
