So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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