how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
