So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
