laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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