I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
