Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
