no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
