I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
