How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
