I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
