Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
