After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you had me at cake vodka
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
