So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize