I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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