4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dicks are not precious.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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