I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
honey bunches of taint.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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