If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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