Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
