pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
