she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
