I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
