using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
