I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
