I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
